May 8th: Deuteronomy 25, Song of Solomon 5 & Acts 20

Now for another edition of "Seriously, This Is in Your Bible."

I think Monte Python slipped a couple lines into Deuteronomy. Take a look. In chapter 25, it says that if a man dies, his brother should take his widow. She needed someone to provide for her, someone to give her children to take care of her. It was basically the welfare system of the day. It was meant to protect the widow. It was revolutionary. No other nation looked out for widows like this. It was an act of mercy.

You may be asking, "So, what if the brother-in-law said no?" Well, the widow drags the jerkface down to the elders, takes off his sandal (yep,singular) and then spits in his face. This is where it get's AWESOME. The jerkface brother get's a new Monte-Python-esque name: "The house of him who has had his sandal pulled off." So beautifully literal. That's a business card title right there.

AND by the way. Deuteronomy 25 just get's better. Verses 11-12 are seriously in your Bible. Did this really need to be addressed? Did it ever come up as a court case? I'm not going to write what it says cause I think my blog will get you firewalled at work. But seriously. Look that up. WHY IS THIS IN THE BIBLE!?!

Can you imagine being the judge? Inner monologue: "What am I going to do with this situat...oh wait... Ok, yeah, it's in here. Wow, that Moses was thorough."

And pastors, a little note from Acts 20: Unless you can raise the dead, keep those sermons short. Guns don't kill people. Marathon sermons do. That there is some good advice.